Take Me Back



It's helps to remember what God has done in the past

 “Take me back! Take me back dear Lord! To the place where I first received you. Take me back! Take me back dear Lord where I first believed.” Are you going through a rough time right now? Not sure how God is going to work things out? When I find myself in that place of shaky faith; I start remembering what the Lord has done for me in the past. God has shown Himself to be very real to me in a variety of ways that I can’t deny and that I didn’t make up or enhance with poetic license. Before I ever accepted Him as Lord and Savior of my life, He saved me from a potentially fatal encounter in a back ally when I was just 15 years old. How? I heard Him speak to me: “Don’t open the door!” I was young and impulsive; not given to following good common sense but I took heed that night and didn’t open a door that led to an ally. I didn’t understand why. My hand was poised over the door knob, but I couldn’t turn it. The voice echoed within me; “Don’t open the door!” Finally, in frustration I called out, “Is anybody there?” Immediately footsteps pounded away from the door and grew faint as they retreated towards the street. My knees literally went limp and I slid to the ground. Someone had been out there! The next God reality check happened six years later. My live in boyfriend had given me an ultimatum to abort our third child or he would leave. I saved him the trip. I took our two children and moved in with my mom. I was about as bummed out as anybody could get and it showed. I moped around depressed and angry at the same time. How could he give me that kind of choice?! It was his child too! To take my mind off of him I went to North Carolina with my sister to visit our grandparents. That trip turned out to be very therapeutic for me. Away from my “Baby’s Daddy” I was able think through a lot of things and I knew I didn’t want to continue on the track I was on. I decided I would move to North Carolina and start a new life. With my sister’s help, we found an affordable apartment and then we went back to my mom’s house to pack up and journey back to North Carolina together. The night before we were to leave, my children’s father called. Coincidence? He spoke the words I had been wanting him to say. Sweet words. Persuasive words. Words designed to keep me from going. I was torn. He was my children’s father. Was I right in taking them away? I wavered. “If you really want me and the kids to come back, just say the words.” I challenged. I held my breath and waited for him to say, “Yes, baby! Come back! Don’t leave me! I don’t want you to go!” Silence was my answer. I waited for him to respond before blurting out, “Are you still there?” More silence. This was the 80’s. No call waiting or other fancy stuff. If the line went dead or the other person hung up, you immediately got a busy signal or a dial tone. I wasn’t getting either of those so I knew he was still on the line but either he wasn’t saying anything or somehow I wasn’t able to hear him. I waited for about ten minutes; calling his name every so often. I never got an answer so I hung up. He didn’t call back. The next day I left for North Carolina and stayed for 17 years. Baby Daddy and I never got back together. In hindsight I see this as God working behind the scenes to prevent me from making the mistake of my life! For all I know, he could have been screaming the words I wanted to hear but God kept me from hearing it. Here’s God reality check number 3: It was Christmas season. We’d lost my father the year before and everyone was still feeling the raw heartache of his passing; especially my mom. The house was dark with grief and my mother would spend long hours alone in her room. I wanted to bring light and life back into the family. What better way than to truly celebrate Christmas! With my brother’s help we decorated the house and put up a tree. We each drew names to buy presents for each other and we coaxed our mother into cooking up all our favorite dishes. It looked like the plan was working. Mom seemed almost back to her normal self and everybody else was giddy with the anticipation of Christmas. And then it happened. Three days before the grand day, my two younger sisters, got into a Ali vs Frazier level fight that rocked the house. I gasped as one sister nearly threw the other out the kitchen window! It was that bad! My brother managed to break them up but it was far from over! When those two got into it; months could go by before they’d speak to each other and here it was only three days away from Christmas! No way were they going to kiss and make up by then. I looked towards heaven and wished God good luck before collapsing into tears. The big day of celebration I had imagined was now a lost cause. But God did what only He could do. On Christmas day, my two sisters and I were all snuggled up TOGETHER in my mother’s bed watching “It’s A Wonderful Life!” on TV. Only God! The next God reality check happened 7 years after that. I was married and had three more children. My six kids and I were packed into a little red pinto heading home from church. That particular day at the altar, the Lord had spoken a word to me that had jarred me considerably. “I’m going to prove myself to you.” I nearly jumped up from the altar rail. Prove Himself to me! I hadn’t asked God to do that. I nervously looked up and told the Lord. “This is your idea, not mine.” I went back to my pew expecting lightning to strike me at any moment. As we traveled home, I pondered what the Lord meant by His statement. Suddenly my car went into a spin on a slippery bridge. The car whipped around in blurred circles as I grasped the steering wheel and desperately tried to remember which way the Reader’s Digest had said to turn the wheel – in the direction of the spin or away? The bridge railing loomed up ahead and I closed my eyes and prepared for impact. After a few moments, I opened my eyes. We weren’t at the pearly gates but we were still spinning in that pinto! I took a deep breath to renew my efforts to gain control of the car. Just then, the Lord spoke: “You will not be able to control this car without Jesus” Don’t ask me why but I let go of the wheel, took my foot off the clutch and break and dropped my head. In that split second of time I whispered two words: “Jesus, Jesus” The car stopped spinning and perfectly parallel parked itself on the left hand side of the road about a yard away from a ditch. Whew! That was something else; but let me give you one more! My husband has abandoned me and my six kids in a public housing apartment. He took the car and left owing three months’ rent. We were about to be evicted and we needed groceries. Added to that hot mess was a life threatening diagnosis I’d just gotten from the doctor. My baby daughter’s head was growing at an alarming rate. Built up fluid was putting pressure on her brain and she couldn’t walk or talk. My baby needed an operation, I needed to keep a roof over our heads and put food on the table. I angrily challenged God: “You know what we need and when we need it!” God proceeded to show me that before I call; He knows how to answer and He did just that. He made a way for me to get groceries by having a friend that I hadn’t seen or talked to in months, just happen to come by and put money in my hand. The Lord had the Housing Manager pay me a visit. She arranged for my rent to be dropped to $36 dollars instead of the $500+ we were paying based on my husband’s income. She then retroactively went back and applied this new rate to what was owed for the last three months. Instead of $1500+ I now owed $108. The crabby next door neighbor, who barely spoke to me, asked why my baby daughter wasn’t outside playing with the rest of the children. When I explained why she couldn’t walk, she directed me to a doctor that would see me without insurance or money. That doctor saw to it that my baby got the surgery she needed to get a shunt implanted. Today that baby girl is graduated from college, married and about to have a little one of her own! Sometimes, you just need to go down memory lane and remind yourself of all the things the Lord has done in your life. I know it seems like we should never forget but we do. Look at the Israelites. You’d have thought manna falling each day, water from rocks and the Red Sea opening would have cemented their faith. But we can’t point any fingers because we do the same thing! Sit down and remind yourself and then give God praise. The same God that worked wonders for you in the past; will do it again for your present situation. You can count on it. Can I Get An Amen?! From the “Can I Get An Amen?! Story Collection by Edwina Frazier