Growing Up



"Ok Lord, time for me to stop making excuses and grow up!"

 I tried to distract myself from the reality of what I was feeling but in the end I had to face the challenging fact that I had not given my best in a work situation and basically had been called out on it. I tried to justify my performance but that didn't make me feel better. Thankfully my "Ah ha" moment came sooner rather than later. I realized the reason I had not given my best was becasue I'd become stagnated in what I was doing. The work I was doing was no longer a challenge. I needed that reality check of exposure to shake me awake! I was basicaly sleep walking through my tasks. Ok, I've 'fessed up; now what? Time to revisit why I'm doing this job in the first place. What kind of difference did I want to make and why? Has anything changed? What? Will that impact what I'm doing or the way I do it? Do I still want to do it? Have I changed? How? I need to honestly answer these questions and then commit to a plan of action to pursue my work with a spirit of excellence or seek greener pastures. No pointing of fingers allowed! I need to take responsibility for who I am and what I choose to do. But even more importantly, I need to surrender my work to the Lord and allow Him to help me inject life and energy into what I do. I don't have to grin and bear it or grit my teeth in frustration. I can do what I need to do with enthusiasm that comes from knowing the ONE who made me is also the ONE who is able to help me do exceeding, abundant above all I could ever ask or think. Yeah, it's time to grow up!

Take Me Back



It's helps to remember what God has done in the past

 “Take me back! Take me back dear Lord! To the place where I first received you. Take me back! Take me back dear Lord where I first believed.” Are you going through a rough time right now? Not sure how God is going to work things out? When I find myself in that place of shaky faith; I start remembering what the Lord has done for me in the past. God has shown Himself to be very real to me in a variety of ways that I can’t deny and that I didn’t make up or enhance with poetic license. Before I ever accepted Him as Lord and Savior of my life, He saved me from a potentially fatal encounter in a back ally when I was just 15 years old. How? I heard Him speak to me: “Don’t open the door!” I was young and impulsive; not given to following good common sense but I took heed that night and didn’t open a door that led to an ally. I didn’t understand why. My hand was poised over the door knob, but I couldn’t turn it. The voice echoed within me; “Don’t open the door!” Finally, in frustration I called out, “Is anybody there?” Immediately footsteps pounded away from the door and grew faint as they retreated towards the street. My knees literally went limp and I slid to the ground. Someone had been out there! The next God reality check happened six years later. My live in boyfriend had given me an ultimatum to abort our third child or he would leave. I saved him the trip. I took our two children and moved in with my mom. I was about as bummed out as anybody could get and it showed. I moped around depressed and angry at the same time. How could he give me that kind of choice?! It was his child too! To take my mind off of him I went to North Carolina with my sister to visit our grandparents. That trip turned out to be very therapeutic for me. Away from my “Baby’s Daddy” I was able think through a lot of things and I knew I didn’t want to continue on the track I was on. I decided I would move to North Carolina and start a new life. With my sister’s help, we found an affordable apartment and then we went back to my mom’s house to pack up and journey back to North Carolina together. The night before we were to leave, my children’s father called. Coincidence? He spoke the words I had been wanting him to say. Sweet words. Persuasive words. Words designed to keep me from going. I was torn. He was my children’s father. Was I right in taking them away? I wavered. “If you really want me and the kids to come back, just say the words.” I challenged. I held my breath and waited for him to say, “Yes, baby! Come back! Don’t leave me! I don’t want you to go!” Silence was my answer. I waited for him to respond before blurting out, “Are you still there?” More silence. This was the 80’s. No call waiting or other fancy stuff. If the line went dead or the other person hung up, you immediately got a busy signal or a dial tone. I wasn’t getting either of those so I knew he was still on the line but either he wasn’t saying anything or somehow I wasn’t able to hear him. I waited for about ten minutes; calling his name every so often. I never got an answer so I hung up. He didn’t call back. The next day I left for North Carolina and stayed for 17 years. Baby Daddy and I never got back together. In hindsight I see this as God working behind the scenes to prevent me from making the mistake of my life! For all I know, he could have been screaming the words I wanted to hear but God kept me from hearing it. Here’s God reality check number 3: It was Christmas season. We’d lost my father the year before and everyone was still feeling the raw heartache of his passing; especially my mom. The house was dark with grief and my mother would spend long hours alone in her room. I wanted to bring light and life back into the family. What better way than to truly celebrate Christmas! With my brother’s help we decorated the house and put up a tree. We each drew names to buy presents for each other and we coaxed our mother into cooking up all our favorite dishes. It looked like the plan was working. Mom seemed almost back to her normal self and everybody else was giddy with the anticipation of Christmas. And then it happened. Three days before the grand day, my two younger sisters, got into a Ali vs Frazier level fight that rocked the house. I gasped as one sister nearly threw the other out the kitchen window! It was that bad! My brother managed to break them up but it was far from over! When those two got into it; months could go by before they’d speak to each other and here it was only three days away from Christmas! No way were they going to kiss and make up by then. I looked towards heaven and wished God good luck before collapsing into tears. The big day of celebration I had imagined was now a lost cause. But God did what only He could do. On Christmas day, my two sisters and I were all snuggled up TOGETHER in my mother’s bed watching “It’s A Wonderful Life!” on TV. Only God! The next God reality check happened 7 years after that. I was married and had three more children. My six kids and I were packed into a little red pinto heading home from church. That particular day at the altar, the Lord had spoken a word to me that had jarred me considerably. “I’m going to prove myself to you.” I nearly jumped up from the altar rail. Prove Himself to me! I hadn’t asked God to do that. I nervously looked up and told the Lord. “This is your idea, not mine.” I went back to my pew expecting lightning to strike me at any moment. As we traveled home, I pondered what the Lord meant by His statement. Suddenly my car went into a spin on a slippery bridge. The car whipped around in blurred circles as I grasped the steering wheel and desperately tried to remember which way the Reader’s Digest had said to turn the wheel – in the direction of the spin or away? The bridge railing loomed up ahead and I closed my eyes and prepared for impact. After a few moments, I opened my eyes. We weren’t at the pearly gates but we were still spinning in that pinto! I took a deep breath to renew my efforts to gain control of the car. Just then, the Lord spoke: “You will not be able to control this car without Jesus” Don’t ask me why but I let go of the wheel, took my foot off the clutch and break and dropped my head. In that split second of time I whispered two words: “Jesus, Jesus” The car stopped spinning and perfectly parallel parked itself on the left hand side of the road about a yard away from a ditch. Whew! That was something else; but let me give you one more! My husband has abandoned me and my six kids in a public housing apartment. He took the car and left owing three months’ rent. We were about to be evicted and we needed groceries. Added to that hot mess was a life threatening diagnosis I’d just gotten from the doctor. My baby daughter’s head was growing at an alarming rate. Built up fluid was putting pressure on her brain and she couldn’t walk or talk. My baby needed an operation, I needed to keep a roof over our heads and put food on the table. I angrily challenged God: “You know what we need and when we need it!” God proceeded to show me that before I call; He knows how to answer and He did just that. He made a way for me to get groceries by having a friend that I hadn’t seen or talked to in months, just happen to come by and put money in my hand. The Lord had the Housing Manager pay me a visit. She arranged for my rent to be dropped to $36 dollars instead of the $500+ we were paying based on my husband’s income. She then retroactively went back and applied this new rate to what was owed for the last three months. Instead of $1500+ I now owed $108. The crabby next door neighbor, who barely spoke to me, asked why my baby daughter wasn’t outside playing with the rest of the children. When I explained why she couldn’t walk, she directed me to a doctor that would see me without insurance or money. That doctor saw to it that my baby got the surgery she needed to get a shunt implanted. Today that baby girl is graduated from college, married and about to have a little one of her own! Sometimes, you just need to go down memory lane and remind yourself of all the things the Lord has done in your life. I know it seems like we should never forget but we do. Look at the Israelites. You’d have thought manna falling each day, water from rocks and the Red Sea opening would have cemented their faith. But we can’t point any fingers because we do the same thing! Sit down and remind yourself and then give God praise. The same God that worked wonders for you in the past; will do it again for your present situation. You can count on it. Can I Get An Amen?! From the “Can I Get An Amen?! Story Collection by Edwina Frazier

What's blocking your vision?

Tonight a strange thing happened.

I searched for the sunset. Literally!

I checked out online what time the sun would be setting; 8:12 EST in St Petersburg, Fl.  I drove to a spot with a westerly view that overlooked Tampa Bay. I just knew I'd have a front row seat to a glorious sunset.  Most mornings, I'd be on the east side of the road watching the sun rise over the bay so I figured I'd be able see the sun set on this side. What I didn't reckon on was the Howard-Franklin bridge being in the way! I could see orange haze just beyond the bridge but nothing more. Sunset was still 10 minutes away. Maybe I could find another viewpoint further down the road. I revved up the engine and sped down the street with my neck craned to the west trying to catch sight of the fading rays of the sun. I turned down several streets that seemed promising. I even caught glimpses of the sun through trees and house tops but alas, never found a clear "window" that would allow me to see the setting sun sink below the horizon.

 Something was always in the way!

Finally, at 8:15 I begrudgingly, went home. As I drove I begin to compare my quest to see the sunset to our walk with the Lord. Is there anything blocking our view of the Lord? Sure you may know Him as Savior. You can probably rattle off the day, date and time of your conversion but when's the last time you really sought him out just to BE with HIM?!   I sought the pleasure of the sunset just to be able see it and put my day to bed. I didn't want anything from the sun. I wasn't expecting tonight's sunset to possess any miraculous power that would change my life forever. I just wanted to see the sunset. Doggone those houses, and trees and bridges!  They were blocking my view!  Now, the truth be told, If I had left my house earlier and drove further west, I could have found a great spot on the beach to watch the sunset. I'd done it before but I didn't want to drive that far today. I thought I'd be able to see it just a half mile down the road.

Have we missed having some quality time with the Lord because we didn't want to:

• Get up earlier?
• Miss a TV show?
• Cut a phone call short?

You get the idea.  Got anything you want to add to the list?  Going the extra mile (excuse the pun) would have gotten me the front row seat I was looking for and going the extra mile in your spiritual walk will yield eye opening results as well.  Spending time with God will help you to SEE HIM  first and foremost and then yourself and who you are in HIM.   Just as planet earth would become a cold and uninhabitable place without the sun, we are nothing without the Lord. He is our life and He has sovereignty over everything that happens in it. He's not the author of the bad things  that can happen to us in our lives but He certainly knows how to work it all together for our good.  Why? Because He loves us!  The Lord doesn't want anything to block the revelation of that! 

So today, give yourself a reality check and  take a hard look at whatever is blocking your vision and move it!  The Lord wants to show you something beautiful!

Can I Get An Amen?!

(c) 2011 Edwina Frazier

I Have A Choice!

Choice, according to Dictionary.com, is an act or instance of choosing; making a selection. It is also having the right, power, or opportunity to choose; having options.

Based on this definition, when someone says, "I had no choice." are they really saying there were absolutely no other options or selections available to choose from? Or are they saying their power or right to make a selection was taken from them, hindered in some way or not allowed?

The latter is probable.

There will be times when the options you'd prefer to make are hindered by people, protocol or circumstance or your choice can be taken away by authority. The first part of the definition, however, cannot be taken away because it is a gift. God gave us the gift of being able to choose. He doesn't strong-arm us into any selection. Will the Lord share the benefits of one choice over the other? Sure He will. He'll even prompt us, give us strong hints! But He will always leave space for you to make a decision.

Recently, I asked the Lord about some the poor food choices I had been making. I'd tell myself what was the right choice to make and still default to what tasted good! The crazy thing is, it wasn't like I was making a choice between a slice of cake and a bowl of grass. My ideal food choices were not only good for me but they tasted good too. It would have been easy and pleasurable to make the right choice. My problem was, even in my good food choices, I often overindulged. So, I prayed for temperance. Obviously, I had to be lacking in this spiritual fruit AND since temperance is a fruit of the Spirit, I didn't have to manufacture it! The Lord would do all the work! God allowed me to rest in that conclusion for a moment and then He challenged it with a statement:

"Temperance is a choice"

I tilted my head. What?  "Temperance" The Lord continued, "Is a choice you decide to make. Once you've made the choice to be temperate in your food choices; I will empower you by My Spirit to maintain that choice. Decide ahead of time what you will eat or not eat and how much. Stick to the portion size or less but not more. Make a choice to do this. NOTHING JUST HAPPENS!

Any excuses I was going to offer died on my lips. It was MY choice. The ball was in my court. I could throw a fit and have a tantrum or I could strategically plan my next move. My reality check here was that a choice is a type of boundary that I set for myself but instead of restraining me; it liberates me to do better! I don't have to settle for less than the best choice for myself. After that settled in my spirit, I grabbed my pen to jot down the next few pieces of wisdom the Lord dispensed on choices:

• Don't take away (hijack) someone else's choice but don't allow anyone to hijack yours either

• Choices can be delayed. Don't be pushed into a choice

• When a choice needs to be made quickly; focus on the objective of the choice. What do you want the end result to be?

• The only choice that doesn't need to be thought about before you make it is... the choice you've already thought about!

• Choices made without thought are often choices later regretted

As always, the Lord allowed me to summarize the lesson in my own words…

My old mindset of making choices was, I didn’t like making choices when all the choices looked good! Too many good choices overwhelmed me and I defaulted to a choice that wasn’t always in my best interest. Moving forward, I will consider what I want as an end result and make choices that best support that result. If there is more than one good choice, I can choose to make one choice now and the other choice later. Too much of even a good thing; is not good. I choose to be temperate. I have a choice!

I Must Needs To Send This Text Today!

No, I haven't come up with a new form of Ebonics! I am inspired today by the King James version of John 4:3-4:

3He left Judaea, and departed again into Galilee. 4And he must needs go through Samaria.  
       
I looked up the commentary on this verse and read a variety of thoughts on what was going on in this passage of scripture but the final conclusion boiled down to this: In spite of the extreme bigotry that existed between the Jews and the Samaritans; Jesus had a pressing need to go through Samaria not just because it was the shortest route to where they were going or that he was tired and wanted to make a quick rest stop. No, his personal agenda that day included an appointment with a  woman who would be coming to the well for water at the same time Jesus wanted to sit there and catch his breath. Coincidence? I don't think so!

This morning I woke up with "A press in my spirit",  as the old pentacostal saints would say,  to text a word of encouragement to a couple of folks.  The encouragement started with me. As I groggily sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I reminded myself that although I didn't feel as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as I wanted to feel, I was alive and had a lot to be thankful for! I mentally ticked off my blessings and threw the covers back with renewed strength.

Today was going to be an AWESOME day! 

I grabbed my cell and started texting. The original short list of folks soon grew to over 30 people in my contact list!  Every time I thought I had finished adding names, more would come to mind and I'd include them as well. I didn't want to leave anyone out who might've needed to receive a dose of encouragment. The "press" was very strong:  I must needs write and send this text to these people today!

Is there a "Must Needs" pressing in your spirit?

What is it you feel you need to do especially if it's something you've been putting off?   What just came to the front of your mind that you're now trying to shove to the back again?  Stop right now and say out loud what it is you need to do.  If there are people around you, mouth it silently, but use your lips to  commit to yourself that you are going to do something about it TODAY!  I must needs do this today!

Now, here's another word of encouragement: Whatever it is you must needs do; you won't have to do it alone! You have help in everything you want to accomplish and here's the promise that says you do:  Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (KJV)

That verse didn't say "He might"  it said, "He SHALL"  No ifs, ands, or buts about it, you've got help to do whatever you must needs do today!  You never know who is going to benefit from the very thing you've been dragging your feet on. Like the woman at the well; someone else's blessing may be waiting on you!

There...I said it!

I'd say most of us have read a book, heard a sermon, or listened to a seminar on the power of the spoken word. I think most of us believe that we certainly can influence our lives by the words we speak. But how many of us, on a daily basis, make it a point to consciously consider what we're saying and why?  Here's my thought on the matter....

Habit.

Yep, it's as simple as that. What we say, how we say it and when we say it is ingrained in us. We find ourselves murmuring. "Excuse me" to inanimate objects we bump into and promptly responding with  "God bless you" to a dog if it sneezes!

What would happen if you were told that everything you said today would instantly come true? I think a lot of us would close ourselves up in a room to avoid inadvertantly killing ourselves!

• Congratulations Sam! We've decided to promote you to Director of the division. Sam responds: You've got to be kidding me!  The boss loses his smile, shrugs and says."You're right! How'd you know?" 
• Sam sees a co-worker that he doesn't like and says: That guy makes me sick! Sam is out with a stomach virus for three days.
• An employee that Sam supervises constantly makes the same mistake. Sam gets fed up with this recurring behavior and sarcastically quips: "You're killing me! Sam immediately falls down and is pronounced dead!

Get the picture?

We may be our own worst enemy because we're not careful to speak only what we want. Perhaps it would help if we actually considered what it is we do want. Make a list. Make several and post them where you can see them throughout the day. Every time you come upon your list, speak what you want and then give thanks that you have what you say... starting today!

Think it's silly?

Ok, I'm not talking to you because you won't do this. But if you think there's a shred of truth to this...then act as if everything you say today will come to pass. Everything!  This exercise will definitely make you aware of what you're thinking and speaking.  You may find yourself covering your mouth after saying something in a vain attempt to take those words back. Don't beat yourself up! Awareness is the first step to changing something for the better.  Change your words, change your life!

There... I said it. Now let's go out and do this thing together!

If you're joining me today with this exercise, send me a quick email at info@pisuccess.net or leave a comment below. Thanks! 

Time To RESET!

We're at the halfway mark of the year; June. Summer is officially five days away and I'm looking at my list of "Things To Do For 2013" and feeling very behind schedule! Here it is June and this is the first post to my blog?!!!

Hold up! Wait a minute! I'm NOT going down that path! I'm already sore from a nasty back spasm I endured a few days ago. I'm  not going to add insult to injury and start beating up on myself! Woo-Saa!

Ok, here's what I've decided to do. I'm going to sort through my various journals and writings and start posting the ones that are really ministering to me right now. As I go through what I'm calling a "Grace Makeover" it has helped me to count my blessings and spend more time with the Lord. That always helps but sometimes I wonder why we drag our feet to do it? Today's post is from July 2009. If I had known that 4 months later I'd be burying my husband would I'd have had a different outlook?  My perspective has definitely changed since then but today, 4 years later, I found comfort in this post. I pray you will too.

July 2009
I had coffee with the Lord this morning. As I sipped mine, I reflected on the choices I had made the day before and my biggest regret was that I hadn't spent any time with Him. I thought about it, but got distracted and did something different. Which made my time with the Lord this morning a little less joyful because I spent a lot of that time apologizing. Is this what God wants?

I don't think so, do you?

Guilt becomes a barrier that prevents warm interaction between your Creator and you. God is light. When I spend time with Him, I am in the light also. His light is warmng and is comforting like a big bowl of mashed potatoes swimming in butter! His light comforts and heals like a soft blanket. Spending quality time with my Lord gives me direction for the day and guidance for my life. Why would I want to miss the best part of my day?

Because we don't want to feel guilty or ashamed.

We usually shy away from things that don't make us feel good. We count up our poor choices and assume that God gets some kind of a crazy pleasure in telling us how bad we are.  He doesn't.

What our Father God does is open our eyes to help us see ourselves as He sees us and the first thing He sees is love and love, the bible says, makes us not ashamed.  Think about it. When we embrace God's love and forgiveness, instead of shame and guilt, we're more likely to go out and make better choices. Guilt and shame leads us to sabatoging our efforts and making the same poor choices again. It becomes a very discouraging cycle.

Here's some good news...

We can chage the cycle! Today, make a different choice. It doesn't have to be something spectacular. As you think about the changes you'd like to see in your life, what's some small thing you can do that points you in the right direction? Don't measure this "small something" by how far it gets you down the road. Feel good that you've done something that gets you on the right road, going in the right direction! Ultimately, you will get where you need to go.

Here's something else you need to know...

You're not alone on that road. Walk with the Lord today. Do you need forgiveness for something you've done? OK, let's fix that now....  Father we come before you now thanking you that when we ask for forgiveness, you give it...

Everytime! Here's what I'm asking you to forgive me of __________________

Lord thank you for forgiving me and I'm especially grateful that you're not going to give this another thought so why should I? I am forgiven! Amen!
Alright! Are you smiling? Are you feeling better? You should be. You just touched the Father's heart. He loves it when His kids come to Him. Today is the day that the Lord has made... I'm going to rejoice and be glad in it. Join me!